The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

So it has been over half a year since I last posted. But for some reason, I feel like posting again. Just to get some thoughts out. I have changed a lot in the past few months; my political views, religious views, worldviews, et cetera. But one thing has not changed. I am still uncomfortable with Christianity. It isn't just the stereotypes I face as a Christian (and especially a Bible major). It's also that I see all the inadequacies of Christianity. Sometimes I just want to give up on it, but I can't because of its potential (did I spell that right??).

I mean what religion has caused the most good and bad at the same time as Christianity? Some Christians have shown an enormous amount of love, while others have harboured a hate unmatched by others.

For love, we look to Mother Teresa who gave up her life in service to others. We look to . We look to those Christians that have changed our lives and directions (you know those ones where you don't know where the hell you would be without them), because they really cared about you.

But then again, look at the bad examples. Look at the crusades, where Christian mercilessly murdered Muslims and all those in opposition to the "holy conquest." Look at those times in Europe where Christians killed other Christians. (Oddly enough, they were killed for their pacifism among other things.) Look at the ministers and church leaders today, who abuse their positions and betray sacred trusts and relationships. Look at how Christianity has typically been a religion of oppression. I mean after all, it was very biblical to us to promote one race over another, one sexual orientation over another, one political party over another.

Christianity is like that movie, "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly." The good shines through at times, but how many more do we see the bad and the plain ugly?

I think, of course, that the reason I stay in Christianity is because of Christ. And no, I don't mean I stay because I see Jesus as the most perfect guy alive (you know that image of the so called perfect Christian who does not cuss, get angry, gamble, drink, have doubts...and all the rest of the list). I stay because of who Jesus was. He was a guy who gave a darn. He cared about the people around him. He stood up for the oppressed, for the imperfect, for the sick, for the dying. And the people he got into trouble with, was all those religious people.

So I sit here and wonder...if Jesus came today what would he look like. Would he be that Christian we typically picture? You know, the guy/girl who refuses to cuss, who goes to church every time the door is open, doesn't drink, never expresses his anger, never doubts or questions God. That guy/girl everyone looks up to and says "man I wish I were that guy/girl!" But then we realize, of course, we can't be.

Or would he be slightly different (and forgive my "blasphemy")? Would he be that guy we see on campus who goes to parties, drinks? But when his friend is suffering, they take a walk and talk about it, because he believes being a good Christian is about caring for others, not about so called "perfection." Or that girl who has doubts and wonders where God is in all the suffering in the world, because he seems so distant when we hurt (kind of like Jesus yelled as he was dying, "Dad where are you")? Yet, when her friends face problems and struggles, she unselfishly steps in and helps them...even though she's not quite sure she believes in this whole Christianity thing.

You know THAT guy or THAT girl you sit back and quietly think to yourself, "I'm better than him/her." You may not think it in those words, but the thoughts you think reveal you believe you have something more. I mean would Christ really be as we picture him? Would he come to be that super Christian we picture, and fix all the world's problems?

Haha...so yeah I went all over the place in this post...